My shyness overcomes me.

I’m so scared to be myself. I’m so scared to make friends. I’ve closed my heart so much from my past that I can’t ever make friends, build a relationship, nothing. It’s hard being alone, but I’m so aware that it is my fault at the same time. When i have an opportunity to be myself and talk I become so scared and i freeze. Even when people talk to me i will just not respond and continue doing what i’m doing because i freeze and know that im expected to respond. Any advice or personal triumphs of the same problems will be helpful. I have nobody that i can talk to personally about this. I’m so tired of my way of being.

Suggestions:

Soooo sorry you are going through this 😞 That sounds super rough, but good for you for reaching out.

JUST SO YOU KNOW, there is a 24/7 crisis texting service available. LINK: https://www.crisistextline.org/text-us/

It could put you in touch with someone who would be able to give you some one-on-one advice. I haven’t used it, but the site says they are there to help people who feel alone and are going through things that are troubling them.

Based on your post, it sounds like you might be experiencing “ selective mutism.” https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/selective-mutism

I’m not qualified to diagnose anyone, but that is something I’ve read about and it seems very similar to what you’re going through… I’ve had social anxiety myself, so I know how it can affect your self esteem and your life. Someone through the text line (or an in person or v irtual therapist) could guide you through that.

ALSO: “The Dare Response” is THE BEST BOOK I’ve ever found for dealing with anxiety. The book is awesome and they also have an app with some of the content for free. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of anxiety and you might find it helpful.

It also sounds like you have a lot of negative thoughts bombarding you - hope you can find some relief from them.

Here’s a quote from The Dare Response:

“Begin by accepting that the thoughts are not the real you, they are the product of an over active imagination mixed with anxiety. When they arrive, imagine them like clouds passing overhead. Watch them float by but do not react to them emotionally. Remain detached from the thought. These thoughts are not you and do not represent the real you.” LINK: https://www.dareresponse.com/dealing-with-intrusive-thoughts/

Highly recommend looking it up. Remember, your thoughts are not YOU, they are separate. It’s ok for you to stop, hold them out at arms length, and question them.

Lastly, you might find it helpful to learn about Daniel Amen M.D. He’s a brain scientist/doctor and author. Here’s a link to a short video of him: https://youtu.be/55BQVEjCqhU?si=dnOuEm8sBRhxCBbW

His whole thing is about Automatic Negative Thoughts , aka “ANTS”. There are webpages and articles that talk about how you can learn to challenge and decrease negative thoughts. Here’s a short concise one: https://elevatecounselingaz.com/ants-automatic-negative-thoughts/

Glad you’re looking for ways to help with your mental health. Hang in there, as they say. You are not alone in these feelings. Things can change for the better.